WoW Reborn

Our Journey Begins


Two friends, longing for adventure, embark on a journey that would forever change the way World of Warcraft is played. Sadly, only one friend would return.

Tired of the same 'ol same 'ol of everyday life in Azeroth, Vaft the Holy Paladin of Dun Morogh and Jabel the Ninja Elf of Darnassus seek out a new way of life in the lands beyond the sea. But how to reach that far off land? No Alliance ships dare sale uncharted waters. No, the only means available are governed by the vile Horde. Unaware of things to come, Vaft and I stole away on a Goblin Zeplin, to lands unknown.


Over the seas we flew, letting nothing but the pre-determined flight path programmed into the game guide us. Oh, adventure!

And where did we end up, you might ask?

Why nowhere other than the lovely town of Brill!


Tired and weary from the arduous journey, we decided to seek the comforts of the local inn. But without provocation, the guards of Brill attacked us. We had no choice but to fight back and murder everyone in the town. Women, children, little undead puppies, no one was safe from our wrath.



Amidst the slaughter, a lowly Shaman walked into town and saw the carnage unraveling before his very eyes. Before we could react, that Shaman cast the spell "Summon Auphan" and all was lost...

Details on the Summon Auphan talent can be found here: http://uberguild.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=642
(register for the forums if you can't see it)

Details on the guild Auphen can be found here:
http://www.auphanclan.com/
(top guild on my server)



We soon learned that "Gloinador Waldir ras gloniador" is Gutterspeak for, "Call the guards and slay the Alliance intruders."

Inevitably (thanks to Blizzard's never end guard spwans), we were driven from town, never to return again.



And this is how the story ends, a lone paladin corpse laying amoung the victims of the now infamous Brill Massacure.

R.I.P. VAFT



A New Way To Play

Sick and tired of the sorry excuse for a PvP system, a select few from The Iron Circle took things into their own hands. Grind endless hours of Battlegrounds for Honor Kills, under powered equipment, and complete nubbery? No thank you.

True, at one time I too wished to be an elite PvPer, decked out in those fancy PvP armor sets. But who was I kidding. Try as I might I never managed past Rank8 before something came up and coming back to the game a few weeks later I was back at Rank6 with another four weeks of the same old shit over, and over, and over again to look forward to.

Screw that!

Yeah, that armor looks cool, and before battle grounds, back when if one wanted a PvP rank one had to go out and hunt down horde; rank meant something. But now, rank equals how many hours one has spent in the system. Back before Battlegrounds, when I saw a Rank7 chilling in Stormwind I'd say to myself, "Damn, I wonder if that guy is any good, /duel." Now days, when I see a Rank12 sitting in Ironforge, I don't give a fuck, dude needs to go outside and get some sun.
Fuck the system!


At first it was hard, sure I was back down to rank5, but still that's only 5weeks 'till the entire set if I ever got down to it and tried!

Did I just say 5weeks? 5weeks of my fucking life doing Arathi Basin 6 hours a day everyday for a cool looking video game helmet that had bad stats?

The first Dishonorable Kill was the worst. As much as I hate the Honor System, God I still wanted that stupid helmet. By the 10th kill I began thinking, "Hey, this is kinda fun." 50th kill, "Oh look, I'm rank3 already, but who cares! I just killed this noob's NPC while he was turning in a quest and now I got 10 angry level20s chasing after me!" Finally, WoW is FUN again.



No, we didn't gain and loot, no fancy hats, but we did gain a lot of "WTF?" behavior from Horde. Plus an entire village of Horde NPCs dead.


Lookin' for trouble in Undercity.

Grinding for Dishonor is the new way to play from now on. A Dishonorable Kill isn't a punishment, it's a system all in itself. I should get a Twill hood reward for grinding Civilians.

512 RAM

I haven't defragmented my hard drive in awhile, and these 700MB porn videos of Drogans Mom scattered everywhere are really slowing down load times.


I'm a rogue damnit!


We were grinding for Dishonorable Kills when a 60 Priest killed everyone.

/insane

/grin

Funny thing, when you create a new character, the very first quest says:



No farming? Am I in the right game here?

/yes, heads will ROFL


Guess what guys!


First thing I needed to do was get my new character a guild invite to The Iron Circle. So, I asked politely.



Now true, I didn't tell Frostrell who I really was, but with the dumplings reference I was sure he'd figure it out. He didn't... and right at that moment I realized I had stepped into a world of comedy gold.

I finagled my way into the guild using secret hax and said hello to my new friends.

Heh. Rogar knows tools, good one Lawboi.

To my dismay, no one in Iron Circle seemed to care that a level one warrior had joined the ranks (I still hadn't told them who I was). Being the uber hardcore MC grinding guild they are, I expected a more reluctance towards the situation of letting an unknow level 1 into the guild. But no, everyone was chill.

This just would not do.

/make waves



There is an art to playing the role of a flaming nub. If one is just out-right overly retarded people get sick of your whining and /gkick you on the spot. However if your not retarded enough people begin to like you.



Above all, the most important thing is not to blow your cover, not to sound like yourself, or say anything to give yourself away. I.E. no more dumpling talk.

Finally I became annoying enough to draw some attention. Scyorax, the only officer online at the time, finally paid notice to a level 1 warrior on the roster. And I'm sure said to himself, "WTF is this shit?!"



Okay, fair question... let me just see who's not online...


Umm... Frostrell, yeah that's the ticket, he's not online right now, I'm Frostrell!


/Iron Circle infiltrated


Oops.


Busted!

Or maybe not... no one seemed to notice. What gives here? Scyorax just put me down as Frostrell's alt no more than 5 minutes ago. Only one thing to do here.

/make more waves


Ah yes, nubbery at it's finest.

Oh yeah, they notice now.


NO WAI


Just keeps getting better...


It was never ment to last...

Oh fond memories of those happy days we thought would last forever.


Reduced to cinders and tears.

Who am I?

/I am vengance

Never piss off an immature noobie or face the consequences!




Wow, I'm really getting into character here!

But what else would a noobie on the warpath do? Simply flame all the guild members that /gkicked his dumbass for lieing? No. This noobie has drive, this noobie has a vision, this noobie is out to steal all of Iron Circle's members and create his own guild the likes of which you have never imagined! OH YEAH!

Death to Iron Circle





Damn, these guys really know how to play hardball. Okay, I'll sweeten the deal just a tad.



The next day...

Good morning all. Time to log onto World of Warcraft and play some more of my uber new warrior!



Oh look, I'm back in Iron Circle. Wadda you know.

Unfortunately, once again, aside from Rogar (but who listens to that guy) no one seemed to care. Yep, that's right, you know what this calls for...

/waves


That should do the trick.


Worked like a gaddamn charm!



Notice here how I choose to use the word "dumb" as opposed to "nub," or "noob," or "gay," etc.. It's all the fine art of roleplaying an annoying flaming nub.

I must regain honor!

By lying!

Lawboi is busy at Law-con so he won't be logging on today. I'll pretend to be him.

But then Ger starts grilling me about stuff only another Iron Circle member or Lawboi himself would know. Like, "If your Lawboi then where are you right now IRL?" Of course the answer is at Law-con, but that would give me away. What to do, what to do? Oh I know, play dumb!

Frostrell's revenge

I guess Frostrell didn't take kindly to me stealing his identity. He paired up with the hunter Nismo and tracked my ass down in Westfall.


Damn don't identity theft a gnome, they get mad.

Anyway, none of this arguing was solving my problem. I needed to get rid of this ugly gray tabard.



So until that day, I will continue to offer any Iron Circle members an Officer General ranking and 5 silvers to join me and my cause.


/random


Chillin' with my homie up in Eastern Plaguelands


I giev J-Pimp




I could use a morale boost right now.

Until next time...